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A Pigeon in the Wilderness

by Theo Bremer-Bennett

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1.
I have gotten in between— the recollection of old visions and new dreams the cloak of age vs. the dagger of youth looking wane and drawn and gone long in the truth but when i wander amongst the poor, your light flickers through an opening door there’s that beauty where least is most— gifts are freely given and no man can boast this is it! this is it! this is what i’m talking about! this is it, this is it what i dream... i seek patience in your time a new jiving to your rhythm and rhyme a new day, a new man a thousand million chances because you can
2.
I cross the sky I cross the sky went away to find you stare from this shore of mediterranean blue you’re over there somewhere this atmosphere— my odd frontier i appeal sun like a sore, blood on horizon silhouette of playground and barbed wire these men still fight with sticks and stones blood on their foreheads and shirtfronts i walk the hills, dust on my shoes never thought there’d be trees in Israel where do i go, what can i say ink, words, and vowels in search of you
3.
Funny Hat 04:54
We were young when we first met two coy flowers on the wall you were wearing a funny hat i played boy blue at my best friend’s ball that’s when I knew I really love you that’s when I hid you in my heart you are brown eyes and brown skin you are glowing radiance love of this light let me in- to your undulating rays of joy that’s when i know i really love you that’s when i know i’ve found the one that’s when i know i really love you smile grander than the sun now to touch your fingertips sit in the grass and enjoy the sky lovely whispers from your lips what we have now God has sanctified
4.
Well, I know it’s true— i can see myself- little girl, that you’ve been crying and i shed a private tear of my own every time i think about your innocence dying but you know little girl you’ll be ok— you’re growing up in many ways you’ve got to take a breath, slow down, look around, and keep praying for a better day i can’t catch the sunshine, i can’t keep away the tears but you can take my hand forever as the moonlight disappears well you know this world is bruised and abused— there’s no denying and every time i turn around there’s another rich clown cheat, hussling, lying the dogs of war may beat down your door, and shake your faith to the core but when you feel the blues from your soul to your shoes— turn it into a song i don’t have a reason why it’s going down this way but you can take my heart inside your coat and walk out into this cold, bright day
5.
September 02:47
September september i breathe her in september she, my sweet tomato and basil in september
6.
4 months ago i felt your kisses as we smiled and dried the dishes what crazy wish wound us together what hopeless bounds keep us apart all my letters from delphine are falling to the ground soft days of sunlight held in books night glistening raindrops on the window our two whole pages wet with life and so I read and hold with all my might all my letters from delphine are falling to the ground 6 months ago I felt your kisses sunday morning as we dried the dishes 8 months ago I felt your kisses now pulling light from dying wishes
7.
When you sleep, you let it all go when you wake it’s like fresh driven snow each day
8.
Hidden light safety mind images, the foregone past what have we done what have we done in the name of innocent fun ringed red eyes, ringed red eyes tongue tastes the salty sky her face a half moon smile wing-tipped hair that strokes her cheeks in points strident noise and the petshop goys all around my broken toys strident noise, strident noise all around the petshop goys flailing arms and sunken floor numb, confused, i ask for more i left smiling an empty stare helpless feeling nothing there but flowering hate and flowering love what to say, push to shove i must go i must go feelings waver to and fro our daily airs— cotton candy affairs my soul slouches in a chair and loosens tie the ties that bind the ties that bind search for love in humankind
9.
Close your eyes now— it’s time for bed take these billowed clouds for your head we’ll ride horses across the hills laugh and skip and fly from window sills close the closet— yes, i know one more whispered “love you” and off you go we’ll go waltzing in golden shoes jumping with the porpoises and the penguins too laura, laura— i don’t know what this world will bring you what this world will bring you but rest your eyes now, see you soon next time when we meet— time for school, yeah
10.
Look at me simple pigeon’s friend rag of grey flapping in the wind and i will rise— reaching for your hand i want to be named look at me bread crumbs in my beard smooth me like a sleeping child, having you near and i will rise— reaching for your hand i want to be named the man with the pigeons slowly turns around blackened, soggy shoes step above the ground and he will rise— reaching for your hand he wants to be named he wants to be named
11.
Rain NM 04:52
The rain falls in new mexico in finite blue curtains grey clings to red rain fills my head the wounds left by beauty allay all absurdity— bathe and atone— the wet smell of home wide space will enter you displays all your emptiness i’m calling out to you i’m praying out to you don’t let me forget
12.
Wake up in darkness to run towards where the sun comes from in grandma’s hogan feet commencement steady pounding drums as cold air cools my lungs all things poised and turning eastward sage, juniper, canyons hardened path contains my motion towards the rising sun a seed will stir, a tiny ember a silent explosion wings unfurl like fingers upward melting horizon bead of blood, light-roaring ocean song that the spirit’s sung knees comply to sandy altar in beauty i have run
13.

credits

released February 15, 2014

All songs written by Theo Bremer-Bennett
except Little Girl Crying: TBB & MVH (words), music inspired by CC and the Postmen, All my Letters from Delphine: TBB & Kristofer Widholm, Ah Holy Jesus How Have You Offended: Heerman, Bridges, Cruger 1630

All Songs Performed by Theo Bremer-Bennett and Michael VanHouten
Engineering and Mixing: Quinlin Tweens, Michael VanHouten, Johno Wells
Mastering: Redtimes Studios

Additional Contributors: Laura Bremer-Bennett, Brian Funck,
Fr. David Houk, Jon Iralu, Lashanda Spencer, & David Taylor

Sleeve Iconography: Yohannes Baptizes Iyasus the Christ

Recorded at the Orleans Casino—Las Vegas NV, Furnace Sound—Grand Rapids MI, and The Glyph Grotto—Gallup NM

To my very soul, Carol Joy

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